Archived on this side of the page is a large collection of sounds (MP3s, WAVs, and MIDIs) that Frostbite diligently collected a long time ago from various websites. Most of those sites are now, unfortunately, defunct. So, in the interest of keeping these files alive and available for the enjoyment of Transformers fans everywhere, I'm archiving them here.

Please note that none of these WAV, MIDI, and MP3 files were created by me. I take no credit for them, and I really have no idea to whom credit should be given for them. They're just here for posterity's sake, sort of organized into convenient categories for your listening and downloading pleasure. Enjoy!

Autobots

Air Raid: Your days are numbered now, Decepticons. If only you knew...

Beachcomber: Like if you need geology-type info, heeeey! Just call on yours truly Beachcomber. I dig projects that don't require conflict, y'know...

Beachcomber: No! It's not possible! They've found the golden lagoon!

Beachcomber: Great Maximus!

Bluestreak: Hah hah hah! That oughta cook that tinfoil turkey!

Brawn: Wrong again, you dipstick tape deck!

Brawn: Oh, I'm shaking in my proton boots!

Bumblebee: OK, Optimus! What's the plan? (OK, so it's Goldbug, actually. Close enough! :)

Cliffjumper: I'm gonna boot some Decepticon right in his turbocharger.

Fireflight: We have an unidentified space craft transmitting a distress signal in Sector 843.

Gears: Uh...What does it instantly immobilize?

Grimlock: Grimlock no come back! Dinobots never ever get back to bossy Autobots.

Grimlock: Dinobots! Transform and end chaos!

Grimlock: Slag, Sludge, go away! Me Grimlock demonstrating finesse, whatever that mean....

Grimlock: Getting better. But still not more better enough.

Grimlock: Me Grimlock say rotten shooting, but getting better.

Grimlock: Huh... You wrong! And you ugly, too!

Grimlock: Yes, yes, yes! Wreck Decepticons now!

Huffer: Beryllium bologna, Wheeljack!

Ironhide: Hey, no way! Soon as Ratchet tightens a few bolts, I'll be right back in action.

Ironhide: Don't worry. I'll blow 'em up to Cybertron as dust!

Ironhide: If ya ask me, the Decepticons are behind these shake-ups, Optimus Prime. You know how that junk punk Rumble likes to make earthquakes.

Jazz: All systems go!

Jazz: Could be the Decepticons, all right. I'll tell Prime.

Jazz: Heh heh heh... You dig it, huh, Spike?

Jazz: Down but not out. Roller's one tough little Autobot.

Jazz: Let's get back to the base.

Jazz: It might just work.

Jazz: Let me rev up the decibels for ya!

Jazz: Ratchet, see what repairs are needed.

Jazz: My sound and light show will mix 'em up!

Mirage: Everything was better on Cybertron. I still feel a power surge when I think about home.

Omega Supreme: Talk excessive. Time limited.

Omega Supreme: Sarcasm not appreciated.

Optimus Prime: I thought you were made of sterner stuff.

Optimus Prime: We can't stand by and watch the destruction of this beautiful planet.

Optimus Prime: Another raid to blame on the Decepticons! *evil laugh*

Optimus Prime: Amazing! A booby trap that actually catches boobies.

Optimus Prime: Just remember there's a thin line between being a hero and being a memory.

Optimus Prime: Nothing you served up could ever humiliate an Autobot.

Optimus Prime: We are the only ones who can stop the Decepticons.

Optimus Prime: Well, looks like we all found out about this place at the same time.

Perceptor: After millions of years of being exposed to Earth's atmosphere, an element that's essential to our mechanical operation is deteriorating.

Perceptor: Disengage and retreat, Beachcomber. Something most peculiar is occurring.

Perceptor: Now we'll show Megatron that bad things come in small packages.

Perceptor: And if you need a true scientist to explain Beachcomber to you, don't hesitate to call on me, Perceptor!

Powerglide: Hey, you must be hot stuff, pal, or you wouldn't be sharing the sky with old Powerglide.

Prowl: OK, let's straighten out this mess. Disarmament, acid pellet style.

Prowl: For a human being, you make one heck of an Autobot.

Prowl: This is Autobot Prowl calling...I need help badly...My battle computer is down...Do you read me?

Prowl: Viewtrex report. We are being followed.

Prowl: And neither can the rest of you!

Prowl: Battle computer is down! I'm...helpless.

Prowl: G forces! They're dragging us down!

Prowl: Now this is a human after my own central processor.

Prowl: I must link up with another online computer.

Prowl: Not so fast, Soundwave!

Ratchet: Time for repairs, I guess.

Red Alert: I warned you guys there was trouble!

Red Alert: Don't give me any of that. You just want to disassemble me for spare parts! Never! I won't let you!

Sideswipe: Say uncle or I'll shove your nose in your afterburner.

Skids: Robotic insecticide?

Skids: We'll stop 'em at the ten-yard line.

Skyfire: I'm too darn big to sneak around like this.

Skyfire: It seems the time has come for me to make the change from science to war.

Sky Lynx: The world needs a leader! Now!

Slag: Me, Slag, no like anything!

Slingshot: I say we're still better than any Autobot. Or human, for that matter.

Snarl: More room to stomp!

Sunstreaker: Be careful with that thing. You'll get scorch marks on my selenium shin guards.

Swoop: Swoop say, "Whooopee! Goooo!"

Tracks: I want to throw some dark on the subject.

Tracks: No! Don't! That wire's part of my primary...

Ultra Magnus: But you're doing a wonderful job! Trust yourself more, and in time you'll realize you're every bit as good as Optimus Prime ever was.

Ultra Magnus: I've never seen anything this beautiful in the entire galaxy. ...All right, give me the bomb.

Wheeljack: And now fellow Autobots, and especially Optimus Prime, it gives me great pleasure to present...

Wheeljack: Wheeljack to Iacon. We're coming in!

Wheeljack: Move in closer, guys. I want you all to get a look at my new invention.

Wheeljack: There's a little project I'm working on, and I think you two guys can help.

Wheeljack: All right, guys. It's now or never!

Wheeljack: Uh-oh... A Decepticon welcoming committee.

Decepticons

Astrotrain: She has lead the Autobots here, but they will not find her alive.

Bombshell: I love warping minds for you, Megatron. Hah hah hah hah! Love it!

Dead End: A flying car! How droll!

Megatron: Parting is such sweet sorrow!

Megatron: You must have a blow-out in your logic circuits. There's no way a midget like you can handle the mighty Megatron!

Motormaster: Well, look who's here! The old king of the road! When I'm finished with you, you'll be king of the junkyard...I've been waiting for this a long time, Prime!

Rumble: All right, clown! We'll tumble...Rumble style!

Rumble: *laugh*

Rumble: Megatron is strong. He's merciless. He can't be beaten.

Rumble: What'd he say his name was?

Skywarp: Have a good time playing crystal nurse, Screamer. Byyyyye!

Skywarp: You should see me do that when I've got my power chip.

Skywarp: *laughs*

Skywarp: You wanna fight us, you germs?

Soundwave: Decepticons, retreeeeeat!

Soundwave: Excellent, Ravage!

Soundwave: *yell*

Soundwave: *laughs*

Starscream:

Starscream:

Starscream:

Starscream:

Starscream:

Starscream:

Starscream:

Starscream:

Starscream:

Starscream:

Starscream:

Starscream:

Starscream:

Starscream:

Starscream:

Starscream:

Starscream:

Starscream:

Starscream:

Starscream:

Starscream:

Starscream:

Starscream:

Starscream:

Thundercracker: This stuff's the greatest!

Thundercracker: Yeah, but even without our new weapon, I can fry your circuits extra crispy.

Thundercracker: Yeah, they sure used to give us a pounding back in the old days.

Guest Characters

Alien Scientist: We have to find out what makes them tick! Get those creatures in the cage out here, too, and we'll get to work.

Atheling the Red: Cows, Sir Hoist. They wandered through a break in his fence and devoured my garden. I told the young hothead that I'd keep them until he fixed the fence, whereupon he accused me of stealing and claimed my land's really his. The tournament is simply an excuse to get him here to settle things peacefully...I hope.

Beort: Téowas, God of the Sky! I know not of science, but if thou wilst bring these giants...LIFE!

Chip: Maybe I can get Teletran to help us out of this fix.

Chumley: I want the ultimate trophy! The head of the Autobot Optimus Prime.

Dinsmoor: Perhaps we should make a day of it, sir. I'm bushed.

Marty Minkler: OK, let's make it a three-shot...You guys ready? Hi! This is Marty Minkler reporting live. Today we are witnessing an historic occasion. I have with me two members of the Autobot team, Jazz and Cliffjump.

Nimue: Those magical knights against my father? I must warn him!

Soap Opera Character 1: She had to go buy new furniture. Dad, don't!

Soap Opera Character 2: So you see, my dear, if Donna is having an affair with Gordon, Jack doesn't know that Cheryl hid the real will.

Sparkplug: That rear-end assembly looks like it could use some old-fashined blowtorch work to secure it.

Wagend of Blackthorne: Correction. Thou shalt meet my champions, Sir Rumble and Sir Ramjet.

Wulf: Lord Starscream! Here's the gold jewelry as demanded.

Multiple Characters

Clip 1:

Wheeljack: If only we had some dinosaurs working for us. They'd really shake up the Decepticons!
Ratchet: Hmmm... I'm with you, Wheeljack. We could build robot versions of those oversized iguanas, if it was OK with Optimus Prime.
Optimus: Robot dinosaurs might be useful. You have my authorization.
Huffer: It'll never work. Big waste of time.

Clip 2:

Dinobot: Their shields are down. Destroy them!
Megatron: Now where's the fun in that. A little torment, I think, first, yeeees. Side guns!

Clip 3:

Thundercracker: What's the matter, fearless leader? You and Starscream look real geeky. Maybe the Autobots aren't such wimps after all!
Starscream: Does he have to make that awful thunder noise? I've got a headache.
Megatron: And they call themselves Decepticons. I shall be avenged, Autobots. I shall retuuuuuuurn!

Clip 4:

Sludge: Uhhh...Planes?
Grimlock: Not planes. Decepticons.
Slag: Good! Then me, Slag, can fight!

Clip 5:

Starscream: I am your superior! I order you to terminate them!
Skyfire: No, I will not. They have done no wrong.
Starscream: But you have, traitor!
Skyfire: Starscr—

Clip 6:

Huffer: There are two things I really hate, Brawn.
Brawn: What are they?
Huffer: Fire. And water.
Brawn: Great! You're in the right place!

Clip 7:

Wheeljack: Allow me to introduce Grimlock, Slag, and Sludge.
Huffer: Dinobots, huh? I thought you were supposed to make dinosaurs. Hah hah hah hah!

Clip 8:

Wheeljack: But I beg you, Optimus. Please, don't make me pull the plug on them
Optimus: I'm sorry, Wheeljack. The Dinobots must never be activated again. They're too dangerous.

Clip 9:

Jazz: Mmmmm...Dinosaurs, eh? They must've been uuuugly suckers!
Wheeljack: I'd sure like to know more about 'em.
Optimus: As would I. Perhaps Spike would be willing to continue our dinosaur education.

Clip 10:

Sideswipe: Arrrrgh!
Sunstreaker: Hey! I get the feeling our jet judo needs a little more work.
Sideswipe: Oh? What makes you say that?

Clip 11:

Megatron: You can't stop me!
Optimus: You're old, Megatron. Yesterday's model. Ready for the scrap heap.
Megatron: We'll see who's ready for the scrap heap.
Optimus: Junk. That's what you are. Junk.
Megatron: Silence!

Clip 12:

Powerglide: Sure wish Mirage was here. We could use him.
Mirage: Your wish is granted.
Powerglide: Huh...? Wha...?
Mirage: I've been here for ten minutes.
Powerglide: All right! Let's get 'em!

Clip 13:

Perceptor: Ultra Magnus! A cursory evaluation of Decepticon capabilities indicates a distinct tactical deficiency.
Ultra Magnus: In other words, Perceptor...
Springer: We're outnumbered
Ultra Magnus: Springer! You and Arcee transform Autobot City. Perceptor, tell Blaster to radio Prime for reinforcements.

Clip 14:

Powerglide: But no Decepticon jet's got the zip to zap me.
Starscream: What goes up must come down! Hah hah hah hah! And the harder the better!

Clip 15:

Inferno: Smell any smoke?
Red Alert: No. But I will. There's always a fire...somewhere.
Inferno: And that somewhere's dead ahead!

Clip 16:

Rumble: Can't you do anything right, Skywarp?
Skywarp: Watch it, you metallic mini-meatball, or I'll step on ya!
Rumble: You and what army, you maxi-turkey?

Clip 17:

Starscream: Foolish insects!
Thundercracker: Heh heh heh... Humans run funny, don't they, Starscream?
Skywarp: Uh...Look out behind you!

Clip 18:

Skywarp: Let's give Megatron a little present!
Thundercracker: Heh... Maybe we oughta wrap 'em up and put a little bow 'em. Heh heh heh heh...

Clip 19:

Starscream: I know exactly how you feel. Megatron and the other Decepticons envy my superiority, too.
Red Alert: That's why Megatron left you behind?
Starscream: Yes. He's afraid I'd make a better leader.

Clip 20:

Starscream: Ohhhhh, how it pains me to do this!
Megatron: Wait! I still function!
Starscream: Wanna bet?
Megatron: Starscreeeeeeeeeaaaaaaam!

Clip 21:

Wagend: Sir Wagend of Blackthorne pretends to nothing! Who art thou?
Starscream: I am Starscream of Cybertron.

Clip 22:

Hot Rod: Bah weep grana weep ninibong!
Wreck-Gar: Bah weep grana weep ninibong?

Clip 23:

Sunstreaker: Hey, not the face, OK? I just had it chromed!
Sideswipe: Doesn't anything get to this guy?

Clip 24:

Talaria: Get up! This is one of Jarro's tricks.
Astrotrain: These fool worship Transformers! If I claim to be their supreme god, they will bow to the Decepticons.
Jarro: Bow down!

Clip 25:

Megatron: Cross me again, Starscream, and I'll reduce you to titanium fragments.
Starscream: But we had the Autobots disoriented. We could have eliminated them.
Megatron:: We'll do that at our leisure, when our more important work is done. You have had the only warning I intend to give.

Beast Wars

Megatron (Original):

Optimus Primal: Moderate your conflict circuits, Maximals.

Rattrap: The only thing worse than a stinking Pred is a stinking Decepticon.

Themes/MIDIs

G1 Season 1 Theme Song (MP3, 128kbps, 500KB)

G1 Season 2 Theme Song (MP3, 128kbps, 512KB)

G1 Season 3 Theme Song (MP3, 160kbps, 640KB)

G2 Opening Theme (MP3, 128kbps, 631KB)

G2 Closing Theme (MP3, 128kbps, 468KB)

G1 Closing Theme (MIDI, 8KB)

The Western Theme from Beast Wars, "Coming of the Fuzors" (MIDI, 3.42KB)

Unicron's Theme (MIDI, 8.5KB)

Dare to Be Stupid (MIDI, 55.2KB)

The Death of Optimus Prime (MIDI, 8.63KB)

 

Archived on this side of the page is a collection of Transformers filksongs.

What's a "filksong," you may be asking? No, it's not a misspelling of "folksong." It's an old term that originated, to the best of my knowledge, with Star Trek fandom. It's what happens when you take the tune of a familiar song and change the lyrics to suit a particular génre of fandom, so that fellow fans of that génre will find the song amusing or touching or whatever.

I'm always on the lookout for these things, and here, in alphabetical order, are the ones that I've found and have received permission to archive so far. If you have others that you'd like to share with your fellow fans, send them to the Submissions Drone, dangit!


                

Beast Machines Rhapsody
To the tune of : "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen

Blue
To the tune of: "True" by Spandau Ballet

Blurr Talkin'
To the tune of: "Jive Talkin'" by The Bee Gees

Chromia's Theme
To the tune of "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" by Aerosmith

Datsun Riot (An Ode to Prowl)
To the tune of: "Zoot Suit Riot" by The Cherry Poppin' Daddies

Dragon Went Down to Iacon
To the tune of: "Devil Went Down to Georgia" by The Charlie Daniels Band

Goodbye Prime
To the tune of : "Goodbye, Earl" by The Dixie Chicks

How Can You Bring the Spirit Back?
To the tune of : "How Do You Mend a Broken Heart" by The Bee Gees

I Can't (The "Brawn's Not Dead" Song)
To the tune of: "I Try" by Macie Gray

I'm Still Alive
To the tune of "Stayin' Alive" by The Bee Gees

Jingle Bells (The TF Version)
To the tune of "Jingle Bells" (Duh!)

Livin' La Vida Longhaul
To the tune of: "Livin' La Vida Loca" by Ricky Martin

Megatron Got Run Over By a Reindeer
To the tune of: "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer"

An Ode to Starscream
To the tune of: "American Pie" by Don McLean (Or Madonna, if you prefer. ;) )

Prime of the Jungle
To the tune of: The "George of the Jungle" Theme

Springer No. 5
To the tune of: "Mambo No. 5" by Lou Bega

Transformers No. 5
To the tune of: "Mambo No. 5" by Lou Bega

The Transformers Show
To the tune of: "The Muppet Show Theme"

We Didn't Start the Newsgroup
To the tune of: "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel

We Didn't Start The Weirdness (A Padded Cell Song)
(If you're not a Cellmate, you're probably not going to get this one...)
To the tune of "We Didn't Start The Fire" by Billy Joel

We're Decepticon Raiders
To the tune of: Monty Python's "Knights of the Round Table"

When Pegwarmers Cry
To the tune of: "When Doves Cry" by Prince